Scarlett Johansson: Soul Sucking Vampire?

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Recent gossip reports from the tabs have linked Scarlett Johansson and newly single Justin Timberlake. With celebrity bust-ups becoming the new trend (alongside adoption and anorexia), the tabloids are hungry for new meat they can then play with. This has got me thinking, is Justin in danger? Scar Jo's other guy pals have come out of it the worse for wear, while she seems to get (sickeningly) healthier and more youthful looking everyday.I'm just saying - maybe she's a demonic vampire huntress?

Above: Scar Jo "playfully" exerts her demonic reach over Josh in sunnier days.



Exhibit A: Benicio Del Toro

Widely reported to have "made love" with Scar Jo in some elevator (straight out of the vamp's mouth) after the Oscars in 2003

Exhibit B: Jared Leto

If the Justin rumours prove to be true, this will be the second time Johansson has taken Cameron Diaz's sloppy seconds: Leto slummed with Diaz aka the bridge troll for several years.

Exhibit C: Woody Allen

In rumours too nauseating to allow the mind to form around, something unseemly may have occurred between the starlet and the aging, once brilliant writer director. Unseemly would explain even his old hand on hers. Scarlett "mused" her way into the lead role of two recent Allen films: Match Point and Scoop.

Look at Woody before, he had a lovely orange glow on and around his head. Now his own soul, with the help of his vampire muse, has made him look just like a dirty, dirty, old, old man (or possibly old old woman who has given up on makeup.)

Exhibit D

In the most harrowing photographic example, Scarlett and Josh Harnett were a couple for the past year or two. Please, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, take a look at Josh before and after Miss Johansson sucked the life force out of him, replacing his youthful vigour with FUG.

Also note that when this innocent came to Hollywood he was a sweetie with a college sweetheart. Now he's reported to be "making love" with random people in NY restaurants. This vampiress is so cruel, like a cross between a dirty sex loving Dracula and Dorian Gray!

Here is Justin before:

This recent picture shows that either it's already too late or it's pointless, and also shows that as bad as JT's hair was in the NSync days, his proclivity for old man / Michael Jackson in '92 hats has also reached a crisis point.

Published 1/11/07 by
Artifacts

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Comments (1)

  • Hey guys!
    What do you think that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person, which has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not damn sexy), most important - CHRISTIAN young lady!
    I'll tell you guys more, that clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, to be more specific, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, North Bavaria, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff 100% controlling all their clones spreading around the world. They all mind controlled, so be careful get close with those clones you will be controlled as well. Think wise..
    Thank you!
    Her close friend Sergei G.
    P.S.
    H.R. 534, the Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003, was introduced to the U.S. House of Representatives on February 5, 2003. After discussion, it was passed on February 27 by a vote of 241-155. It now moves on to the Senate for consideration. This bill makes it unlawful for any person or enty to perform or participate in human cloning, or to ship or receive embryos produced by human cloning. The penalties are imprisonment of up to 10 years and fines of $1 million or more.
    anonymous 5 sergal 2/16/07   Message Add to Friends Reply
     

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