Red Army: Princess Beatrice Joins Prince Harry At The Front

0 votes

Share It

Prince Prince Harry, Pictures: beatrice-and-eugenie.jpg

AS PRINCE Harry prepares to flush out Iraqi insurgents, so making them easier to slaughter, his cousin Princess Beatrice is preparing for life without him.

“Anything Harry can do…” says the caption beneath the Mail’s front-page picture of Bea looking pie-eyed.

“ONE’S TOO MANY BEA?” asks the Mirror, looking on as the 18-year-old enjoys a night out at royal enclave Boujis, London.

“You could tell she was having a heavy night,” says an onlooker. The Mail sees Bea stumble out the nightclub at 3:15am. Readers are made aware of her “smudged” and “less-than-perfect complexion” that features two pimples.

Our royalist sensibilities prevent us from commenting on Bea’s lazy-looking left eye, which seems to be trying to peer up her right nostril.

And we applaud Bea. Oh yes. Anorak realises that Harry will win the war in Iraq. As the insurgents emerge lemming-like from their holes and bunkers to snatch at Harry, they will be slaughtered and the war won.

But one Harry might not be enough. We need lots if this is to be over by Christmas. And who better to accompany Harry to the frontline in the War on Terror than his ginger-haired kin?

Put the hair in a bun and a drink in her hand and what sex-starved, rabid gunman would know the difference between Harry and Bea?

Hurrah for Bea. Hurrah for Harry.

And Hurrah for Sarah Ferguson, who is thought to be dedicating her own Madame Tussauds’ waxwork to the cause.

Come on royal gingers, your country needs you…