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10. Dedicated to his "soulmate" Lindsay Lohan
9. 52 chapters... to match his waist size
8. Chastises Bill Clinton for not sharing the hot intern action
7. After the 2000 election, shaved his head and checked into rehab
6. All proceeds go to Paris Hilton's legal defense fund
5. The threat that keeps him up at night? A massive Fritos shortage
4. In his opinion there's no species more endangered than the Yankees pitching staff
3. Besides the internet, also claims to have invented Keno
2. If Blake loses "American Idol," plans to appeal to the Supreme Court
1. Brags that he has now written more books than President Bush has read