What’s in the MTV Movie Awards goodie bags?

However, in addition to popcorn trophies and craptastic performances, there’s a certain level of opulence an awards show like this must maintain. And how is that done you ask? The goody bags. Filled with god knows what, these bags are worth more than 4 pristine black market kidneys. Able to fund a small army of AK-47 wielding children, these gift bags serve a dual purpose: entice celebs to sit through 3 mind-numbing hours of awards and “comedy” and have them act as walking advertisements. So what’s in the bags? Well, an ass load of free stuff, most of which no average person will ever be able to use or want to use. The (really long) list after the jump. It’s mainly useless stuff like grooming products. Missing from the list are cyborg monkeys which yours truly has. Suck on that John Travolta.

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