Paris Hilton will do “Larry King Live”

“I am thrilled that Larry King has asked me to appear on his program to discuss my experience in jail, what I have learned, how I have grown and anything else he wants to talk about. Larry King is not only a world-renown journalist, but a true American Icon. It will be an honor to do his show.”

Oh, joy! Now we get to find out what it’s like to sit in a cell and stare at the wall all day. You could probably see what it feels like yourself by sitting alone in the bathroom for a week, but I bet Paris does something different like sticking her thumb up her butt. I hear it makes the time pass by faster. It has to do with physics and stuff. Ask Stephen Hawking. He’ll explain it to you.

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