America's Next Top Model: "I'm Beautiful. I'm Smart. I Can Play Beer Pong."

When last we left off, Jaslene had scored a victory for deaf transsexuals everywhere. She went on to grace the cover of "Latina" magazine and talk endlessly about how her boyfriend used to beat her ass. Probably because he discovered her appendage. Tyra opens the season by asking what beauty means to us. Do we like it edgy and bizarre or safe and predictable? To me, beauty is a crazed bitch with sob stories in my living room competing to star in eleven or so cover girl commercials