Michelle Rodriguez will return to jail

“[She] admitted violating her probation by failing to provide proof of completion of her community service and for consuming alcohol three times while wearing an alcohol-monitoring device,” said the L.A. City Attorney’s office in a statement.

The City Attorney’s office had alleged that Rodriguez turned in a false document showing that she completed one day of service on Sept. 25, court filings show. The actress later stated that she was in New York on that date. [People]

In her defense, avoiding alcohol for 30 days is pretty hard. What are you supposed to put in your corn flakes when you can’t use vodka? Are you going to dip your Oreos in water instead of rum? Absurd! What? No, I’m certainly not an alcoholic. “Alcoholic” makes me sound like I have a problem. Trust me, I don’t have a problem. Well, maybe my flammable pee is a little problem, but other than that, it’s all gravy, baby.

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