David Copperfield Has Two Million Tricks Up His Sleeve

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Rape-usionist David Copperfield is reportedly trying to make the sexual assault charges brought against him by a (21-year-old!!!!!!) Seattle woman disappear. The woman alleges Copperfield invited her to a “lavish party” at his remote mansion in the Bahamas before revealing to her his wondrous trick: No party! She says he then forced himself on her.

So how’s Copperfield make this go away? Wads of cash like so many doves from a top hat!