Britney Spears is dead

Once in the ambulance, paramedics can be seen trying to strap her legs down before taking off.

We’re told Britney is being taken to a local hospital on a “medical hold” — essentially a mental evaluation. Cops found her earlier this evening at her home under the influence of an “unknown substance.”

Cops were called to the popnightmare’s home in Beverly Hills this evening, after she reportedly refused to return custody of her two kids to their father’s bodyguard. Oh, the insanity of it all!

Can’t someone just hit her on the head with a hammer? Why is this taking so long? She’s walks pretty slow. You could just leave a Starbucks Mochachino in the parking lot of a 7-11 and wait behind the dumpster. Like we did in Iraq. Oil Rulez!

More claw hammer fodder…

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