This just in: Tyra Banks wants to adopt.
“I’ve wanted to adopt since I was nine," she said recently. "I have a connection with children and they don’t have to come from my womb for me to have that connection.” Which, you know, is convenient, seeing as the womb-canal needs to see some kind of action in order for a child to issue from that area, but whatever. She's too busy being TYRA to have sex. I get that.
Call me mean-spirited, cynical, evil, whatever, but I just can't think of Tyra adopting without imagining some sort of twisted runway competion featuring tiny orphans from Cambodia and Nigeria and the Sudan in artfully draped rags, parading up and down in front of Tyra and Nigel and Twiggy and Ms. Jay while Tyra tells them to smile with their eyes and ask themselves whether they really, really want this bad enough.
That, or she'll just adopt Saleisha, and then deny that there's any special bond or previously established relationship between them. Because, you know, she has a connection with all young T-Zone alumnas/ hand-picked Tyra-coached models-with-previous-experience persons who did not come out of her womb. Or something like that.
Adrianne Curry
Yoanna House
Eva Pigford
Naima Mora
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