Fernando Aguirre Is Colombia’s Osama Bin Laden

The world’s most wanted man might be dead. He might be alive. But however hard we look, not one sighting of Osama bin Laden has been reported in the press.

Bin Laden is famously tall, well over nine feet high, but when seated in a dimly lit cave he looks not a lot unlike a bearded Lord Lucan. Add some styling gel and who can deny the likeness to Elvis Presley. A sex change, some hair dye and a swarthy male companion and Bin Laden is Princess Diana. Some say he could pass for Rick Astley.

But no one has seen Bin Laden. Until now.

All hail Fernando Aguirre, known as Osama Bin Laden among the slum dwellers of Bogota. Aguirre claims to be the son of Osama Bin Laden. He lives from the contributions received from those seeking his protection.

As reported: “Aguirre informs police on petty crimes being committed and is allowed by authorities to brandish his fake rifle.”

He’s got a fake gun, a toy rifle he uses to look tough. He talks big and carries a plastic stick.

From a certain angle he looks a bit like John Kerry…