You can't do this forever, you know. You just celebrated your 27th birthday this week; I've never seen such a sideshow D-list in my life. Last year's "It" girl would never have bent elbows with the likes of that animal's castoffs. I'd watch him around the drinks and food, and her around the coat room, if you know what I mean. I see you did your best to stay drunk as a skunk all week. Couldn't even be bothered to help your little brother out - that's pretty harsh. What did he ever do to you?
Michael Lohan is auctioning off a chance to knock him out at a celebrity boxing match. Who do you think would win in a match between Michael and Dina Lohan?