The Oscars

1 vote

7:58 - Katherine Heigl has had a few.

7:54 - Bah bah black sheep?

7:53 - Viggo Mortensen's girlfriend is a little young for him. I wish he'd lose the beard.

7:52 - Hilary Swank is into Israeli martial arts. Perhaps she would demonstrate some of her moves on Seacrest now. Pop his head off and bounce it like a basketball.

7:51 - Casey Affleck's wife doesn't think much of Seacrest.

7:49 - Colin Farrell is fricking his mom! ... Colin wants to make hats. Perhaps he could make a new one for Spike Lee.

7:41 - Tilda Swinton is nominated for best supporting actor. No, actress. Actor?

7:39 - Marion Cotillard seems drunk. I hope she wins. She is so fantastic.

7:37 - Someone please shoot Kimora Lee Simmons. I'd rather listen to Debbie Matenopolous than this bitch.

7:36 - Cameron Diaz couldn't remember whose jewelry she was wearing. She seems coked up.

7:34 - Jessica Alba had to think for several minutes before answering Seacrest's question about how far along she is. Ryan then asked her about breast feeding. He just wanted to say "breast" to Alba, the perv.

7:28 - Marion Cotillard's dress makes me want to beat her until she stops flopping.

7:26 - Kimora Lee Simmons looks like a Singaporese madam. "Yo sailor, you likee good time-girl?" ... Even Giuliana hates Kimora. What's Giuliana's last name now?

7:25 - Ryan Seacrest just said "bush." Ha.

7:22 - Miley Cyrus is talking to Ryan Seacrest. She looks terrified. She is a yappy twit. ... Miley wants to kill her mom. So do I.

The Oscars are tonight. I'm going to live-blog because I'm bored.

Source: Crabbie's Hollywood