Is Oprah A Secret Scientologist?

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I’m sure you all saw yesterday that Tom Cruise is headed back to Oprah. That’s right, but to make sure nothing untoward happens there will be no furniture. Everyone on the set, and in the audience will be seated on the floor. This is to make it appear as if Tom Cruise is a giant.

The reason for Tom’s appearance. To break up with Katie Holmes. Naah, but it would be kind of a fitting end to the whole thing. He can be sitting on the floor, and just start crying while he rests his head in Oprah’s lap. As staffers hold back Gayle King, Tom just weeps like a baby.

The actual reason Tom is going to be on is to celebrate his 25th anniversary of making films. He is getting a two parter. Yep. Two whole hours devoted to a Tom Cruise kiss butt session. Two hours of one person after another crawling on the floor telling Tom how great he is and just watching that stupid grin of his.

Hmmm. Kirstie Alley is going to be there. John Travolta, and you know Leah Remini will be there. He’ll probably pay Nicole Kidman an extra sum this month so she will come on and say Good Day.

You know what. Here is a deal for Oprah. Since she wants to be taken seriously, and have her opinion count in politics, here is something to prove you are serious. If she has Tom answer five questions Jenna Miscavige wants asked, I will give $2000 to any charity Oprah wants.

(source)