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The MTV Movie Awards: Keeping Cinematic Standards High Since 1992
The MTV Movie Award nominees for this year have been announced, and, as expected, it's a line-up that, for the most part, seems to have been selected by an elite group of thirteen-year olds and a handful of college students (mostly engineering majors, I'm guessing, with a smattering of random Arts students thrown in for diversity) interviewed after a hard night drinking in the dorms and frat houses (the college students, not the twelve-year olds, although it's not like MTV wouldn't do that if it would up the ratings).
And the nominees are...
BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
· Ellen Page- Juno
· Keira Knightley - Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
· Katherine Heigl - Knocked Up
· Amy Adams- Enchanted
· Jessica Biel- I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Jessica 'Oh Hai Ur Gay? Feel My s' Biel? Keira 'I Can Out Act A Gangplank' Knightley? Do you need any more evidence that drunken frat boys are responsible for these nominations?
BEST VILLAIN
· Johnny Depp- Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
· Denzel Washington- American Gangster
· Angelina Jolie- Beowulf
· Topher Grace- Spider-Man 3
· Javier Bardem- No Country For Old Men
Okay, so it's awesome that Angelina got nominated for this one. There must have been a whole lot of TEAM JEN supporters at that dorm party.
BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
· Johnny Depp- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
· Adam Sandler- I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
· Jonah Hill- Superbad
· Seth Rogen- Knocked Up
· Amy Adams- Enchanted
With the glaring exception of Adam Sandler, who makes me want to pull my own teeth out, this list isn't all that bad, actually.
BEST FIGHT
· Matt Damon vs. Joey Ansah- The Bourne Ultimatum
· Tobey Maguire vs. James Franco- Spider-Man 3
· Hayden Christensen vs. Jamie Bell- Jumper
· Sean Faris vs. Cam Gigandet- Never Back Down
· Chris Tucker & Jackie Chan vs. Sun Ming Ming- Rush Hour 3
· Alien vs. Predator- Aliens vs. Predator – Requiem
Whatever.
BEST KISS
· Shia LaBeouf and Sarah Roemer- Disturbia
· Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey- Enchanted
· Daniel Radcliffe and Katie Leung- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
· Ellen Page and Michael Cera- Juno
· Briana Evigan and Robert Hoffman- Step Up 2 The Streets
If Ellen Page and Michael Cera don't take this, there is no God. Which means - atheists among you, rejoice, because I'm betting that the thirteen-year olds went with Harry Potter, and the frat boys with that last one, which I've never heard of, but which must be a hit with illiterate frat boys, because, you know, there's a number in the title, and also the word 'streets.'
BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE
· Zac Efron- Hairspray
· Seth Rogen- Knocked Up
· Jonah Hill- Superbad
· Michael Cera- Superbad
· Chris Brown- This Christmas
· Nikki Blonsky- Hairspray
· Megan Fox- Transformers
· Christopher Mintz-Plasse- Superbad
Any of the Superbad boys could take this, and I'd be happy. If Zac Efron wins, it's yet another sign of the coming apocalypse.
BEST SUMMER MOVIE SO FAR
· Iron Man
· Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
· Sex and the City: The Movie
· Speed Racer
· The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Haven't most of these movies NOT been released yet? And is it just me, or does Sex and the City: The Movie seem *really* out of place here?
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Rumors have been floating that Zac Efron has been asked to replace Daniel Radcliffe in the controversial Broadway production "Equus". Would you want to see Zac perform in a musical...naked?
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