The Insider: Contributed by MamaPop

You Can't Kill this Rooster, Either

MamaPop — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:00:00 GMT

"You can get away with dropping 'em a couple times, and they'll still be okay. Can't really do that with a little girl." Matthew McConaughey's brother (wait for it) Rooster McConaughey, on having a son instead of a daughter. He is pictured here with his own son (WAIT FOR IT!) Miller Lyte. Meanwhile, Matthew has explained the shockingly normal reasons he gave his new baby boy the shockingly normal name of Levi Alves: Levi was another name for the apostle Matthew in The Bible. They were, in fact, two names for the same person. Our son was born at 6:22 pm, and this particular time represents my favorite verse in the book of Matthew in The Bible: 'If thy eye be single, thy whole body will be full of light.' Alves is mama Camila's last name. Source Source

[Read full story on The Insider]

Friday Eye Candy: In Which I Just Spew Out A Grab Bag Of Girlhood Crushes

MamaPop — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:02:30 GMT

So I had this awesome plan for today's Eye Candy - Boys I've Loved, which was going to be a compendium of 80's teen idols and other beauties from my youth. But then I realized that I didn't really go for teen idols, which, you know, gets in the way of finding a bunch to present as Eye Candy and, also, my daughter got sick and we had to go to the doctor and my brain kinda snapped and so I was all, like, how do I save this post? To which my inner self replied, well, duh, they don't have to be teen idols, right? Eff that Kirk Cameron sh*t. So here goes - my (mostly) non-teen-idolly bag of yumsters that I adored in my girlhood: Luke Skywalker did nothing for me. Bring me Han Solo! Ponyboy from The Outsiders. It was obvious, even early on, that Tom Cruise was a dimwit freak show. I wanted Ponyboy, bad. Did I have a thing for Harrison Ford? Hell yeah I did. Tony from Witch Mountain. He had, like, freckles and could move stuff with his harmonica. I loved him, for serious. Yeah, I don't even quite understand this one myself. I just remember feeling all warm and fuzzy whenever Bob hit the Street. (Young Bob, though. Not older Bob. And looking back on it now, it's like totally obvious that Luis was hotter, but I didn't appreciate that when I was eight.) Okay, this is like totally weird, I KNOW, and all you Freudians and Jungians out there will have a field day with this one but I stand by it. Maybe it was the freckles (cf. Tony the witch above), maybe it was the ability to fly, but I seriously jonesed for Peter Pan. Also, Capt. Hook, but only a little bit, in my darker nine-year-old moments. (I'm thinking that there needs to be an Eye Candy: Animated Hotties Edition.) (Is that weird?) (Cancel that question. This whole list was weird.) (Was it? Who would YOU add? Come on. I know you're all freaky like that.)

[Read full story on The Insider]

First Lady Carla Bruni Records an Album; Critics Pan It

MamaPop — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:00:00 GMT

France's first lady drops her third album on Monday and it's getting hideous reviews. The reaction is fascinating to watch: it shows that media outlets and general public have a very specific idea as to the role of a First Lady, her demeanor, and even her profession. The Guardian authored one of the more scathing reviews, writing: "The hardest part about listening to Carla Bruni's new album is somehow erasing from your memory that woman in the demure, dove-grey Dior coat, flat shoes and little black hat who had us all swooning back in March," its reviewer wrote. "When she sings, in 'Je Suis une Enfant', that she remains a little girl 'despite my 40 years, despite my 30 lovers', for instance, that doesn't exactly sound what you might call presidential." The Independent writes: "First lady... of schmaltz", the reviewer said it was "all very pleasant, and unsurprisingly inoffensive... but none of these arrangements, despite perhaps stretching Bruni's personal envelope, exactly breaks new ground." So after all those years dating rockstars like Mick Jagger it is evident, at least in the reviews, that Bruni didn't absorb their songwriting ability through osmosis. Ahem. Bruni was lauded for her beauty and fashion when she visited London with her husband, President Nicholas Sarkozy, but music? Not so much. Can you imagine the field day the American press would have with Cindy McCain or Michelle Obama if either of these women had photos online like this? Or if they tried to do record a serious album and release it? Big media is a hen house; the cacophony of clucking would drown everything else out.

[Read full story on The Insider]

I Praise You: Ban Ki-Moon

MamaPop — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Back atcha, Mr. Ban. Y'all, this is long overdue. Every week I go off about some random thing I like, and I haven't once mentioned UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon. Which is weird because about 23% of my brain function is devoted to thoughts of Ban Ki-Moon, and not just because I have a United Nations Secretary-General fetish (remember the hotness of Boutros Boutros-Ghali, the man so nice they named him twice?). No, there's something special about our man Ban. Maybe it's the way he's always trying to call our attention to climate change and Darfur and Myannmar. Maybe it's the way he's calling for the G-8 leaders to "stop the global food crisis from deepening." (Yes, Virginia, there is a global food crisis.) Maybe it's the Millennium Development Goals. By God, you can't say the guy doesn't try. Maybe it's because he's got the stuffed-shirted bearing of the consummate company man, even when people are firing rockets at him in the Green Zone. (Seriously, I would have reacted more.) But you just know he's a wild man at home. Has to be. Heaven help me as I declare: Ban Ki-Moon is hot. See, take a look at the many faces of Ban Ki-Moon... Explaining carefully. For some reason I imagine President Bush just out of frame. His eyes say, "I am not amused," but his lips say, "Tell me more." Neat-o! You see, Mr. Moon, I just clap my hands, and the TV comes right on. "Blue Steel" Alfresco in Antarctica. Ladies and a certain percentage of the gents, he's all that and diplomatic privileges.

[Read full story on The Insider]

Photo In Search Of A Caption: Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson, & Pete Wentz

MamaPop — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

It's captiontastic!

[Read full story on The Insider]

Christie Brinkley's "Surprise" Divorce Settlement

MamaPop — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:00:00 GMT

Why this is such a surprise I do not know. It was clear to me from the beginning that this was how this would go. No one in their right mind would allow this nonsense to continue. After a week of nasty and unnecessary testimony, Christie and her philandering husband reached an agreement in their contentious custody battle on Thursday. They were supposedly up all night Wednesday night hammering out the completely common sense agreement that they probably could have reached a year ago. Glad they spent all that money on legal fees. Christie received sole physical custody of their two children, Jack, 13, and Sailor, 10, and gets to keep all 18 properties. She's agreed to pay Peter $2.1 million. They share legal custody, although Christie has the final say so in a disagreement about the children. She addressed the media outside the courthouse and said it was "a very bittersweet moment. It really is the death of a marriage, but it's also I think a new start for all of us and I'm very pleased with the results today. I was here fighting for custody. I think a mother's greatest fear is somebody trying to take her children, trying to take custody of her children. That's what I was up against. And so I've won custody and decision-making, and that's really all I ever wanted." About the hearing she said "I really didn't have a choice. I was trying to settle the day I learned about the absolute truth about the facts, and I wanted to settle but unfortunately we could not reach an agreement until 6 o'clock this morning." She also explained the peace sign earrings she wore Wednesday and Thursday: "I believe we all need to work everyday toward peace ... I'm really glad that today we found some peace." Peter's only comment was, "I got everything I've been asking for two years." Somehow I doubt that is the case. source, source

[Read full story on The Insider]

Breaking News: Tom Jones Can Kiss Pop Culture Blogger's Ass

MamaPop — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Cassandra Peterson, better known as the awesomeness that is Elvira, told Blender a really infuriating story this month about losing her virginity to Tom Jones. Here's the story, summarized by Gossip Rocks: The woman who created horror movie icon Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark has revealed she lost her virginity to Tom Jones. Actress Cassandra Peterson was working in a nude revue in Las Vegas when she fell for the well-endowed "It's Not Unusual" singer. Peterson admits Jones was a rough lover and her first-time sexual encounter with the womanizing Welshman left her needing medical care. She tells the new issue of Blender magazine, "Tom seemed gentlemanly and nice, so when he was jumping on me... I thought, 'Well, if I'm ever gonna do this, it might as well be with Tom Jones.' It was painful and horrible." Peterson tells Blender she needed stitches after the sex session was over, but the worst pain was yet to come. She adds, "I thought for sure we were gonna run away together and get married. I went backstage to see him the next night, but he was with his two background singers... and was all over them. I was disgusted." I don't even know where to begin with this. First of all, the whole "jumping on me" thing squicks me right the hell out - about Tom, not about Elvira, natch. And what the hell is this guy doing if he's creating a stitches kind of situation for his partner (if the word "partner" can really be used here)? I don't want to overload y'all betches with TMI after making you read that story, but I've, um, had relationships with men who were, uh... equipped very well... and who were (by request, not just because they took a notion, TOM) maybe less than gentle... and stitches? Never entered into the equation. Stitches are what a woman sometimes needs after pushing an entire human beings out of her vagina, okay? And dude, I am feeling some serious sympathy pains here about Elvira's post-stitches heartbreak. You know, he could have maybe SAID UP FRONT that he was planning not to have anything to do with her after he did whatever it is he wants to call that with her. GROSS. The entire extent of my Tom Jones fandom up 'til now has been enjoying reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air wherein Carlton dances to "It's Not Unusual," but I really, really enjoyed those. Goddamn him for not only breaking Elvira's sweet, virginal vampire heart (amongst other things) but ruining the Carlton dance for me.

[Read full story on The Insider]

Jamie Lynn Spears and Baby Maddie on the Cover of OK!

MamaPop — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:00:00 GMT

In what has now become a steadfast tradition for those on the A through G Lists of celebrity status, Jamie Lynn Spears appeared on the cover of OK! Magazine with her new daughter, Maddie. You can check out the cover photo and a snippet of the interview with Jamie Lynn here. It sounds like a fairly basic celebrity new mom interview; everything's wonderful, labor was fine, enjoying being a mom, etc. What I can't get past is the picture of Jamie Lynn. Whoever does the Photoshopping for OK! should be fired. She looks completely plastic. Her hair looks like something from some low-budget makeover software. I mean, I'm sure there were some dark under-eye circles that they wanted to touch up. And, you know, fine. Whatever. It's a little disingenuous to picture a new mom looking all bright and flawless but I get it. I don't understand making her look like she was made out of some Barbie kit. And besides, she's SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. She doesn't NEED that much alteration and what they did makes her look at least 30. Jamie Lynn reportedly made $1 million from the shoot, but if I were her I would sue for...I don't know...defamation by retouching or something.

[Read full story on The Insider]

This Week In Covetousness

MamaPop — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:59:10 GMT

Behold, the Covet-worthy Covet-stuff of Covetopia! Memetastic T-Shirt We Covet - Be the meme. We Covet New Ways To Enjoy Liquor - This tin-heart flask says, I love drinking, but not so much that I ever forget to be cute! Which, you know, is really what we're all aiming for, right? Vintage 1970s Lighting We Covet - You will long to buy this and flick the light switch on and off while singing "Macho Macho Duck." We Covet Notecards That Get Straight To The Point - Because we all know a douchebag or two. We Covet Things That We Can Usually ONLY Covet - Things that make us lick the Tiffany's window. Cue 'Moon River.'

[Read full story on The Insider]

JonBenet Ramsey's Dad Not Pervy Killer Say Police

MamaPop — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

I was in high school when our generation's Lindbergh baby transpired; twelve years later prosecutors offered this apology: "Remember when we like, blamed you for your kid's murder and made you out as a kid-toucher and stuff? And like, it went on for a decade and your life was ruined, first by losing your kid but second by, um, us? ABOUT THAT. Uh, sorry?" Officially: "To the extent that we may have contributed in any way to the public perception that you might have been involved in this crime, I am deeply sorry. No innocent person should have to endure such an extensive trial in the court of public opinion." (So stated Mary Lacy, the Boulder County DA.) The revelation comes courtesy of some fabulous new DNA test which can identify DNA from a mere touch. The results indicate the presence of an outsider. No, not these guys. Ponyboy did not break into the Ramsey's house on Christmas. The lab analyzing the evidence discovered skin cells on an area of the girl's long underwear where a perpetrator would grasp to remove the clothing. In true famewhore fashion, last night Greta Van Susteren interviewed John Mark Karr, the crazy kookwad who claimed to have killed JonBenet only to be released when authorities discovered he was lying his balls off.

[Read full story on The Insider]

Photo in Search of a Caption: Phoebe Price

MamaPop — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Amazing but possibly true, unless I'm having a Pregnancy Brain Moment, we have never once featured Phoebe Price on PISOAC. Please forgive us this glaring famewhore oversight, and please to provide us with your best caption goodness.

[Read full story on The Insider]

Does Jon & Kate Plus 8 Violate Child Labor Laws?

MamaPop — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:00:00 GMT

I just recently started watching the TLC show Jon And Kate Plus 8. The Gosselins seem to be all over the place, but in case you don't know the premise, they have a set of twins and a set of sextuplets and the show is about their "daily lives." And there has been some backlash from it. Some of it is kind of basic: they are exploiting their children for money and fame and free stuff and the same kind of nonsense mommybloggers get. But then an interesting question was raised. Do these children being filmed in their home violate child labor laws? The answer is, I don't know. Reality TV is a relatively new media. The kids are certainly not working a job in the traditional sense. They are not in sweat shops and factories as was the case when child labor laws were created. The idea is that these children are being filmed in their home setting. They are not working, they are just going about their daily lives. With a film crew, production managers, set designers, etc. etc. In their home. We all know enough about reality TV now to know that this is not reality. Stuff is set up. Stuff is staged. And the children and the parents are interviewed on the show. Are they working? Sure? Are they being paid? I don't know, I'm sure Jon and Kate are. If the kids are being paid it would be in a trust and I've seen no discussion of a trust. In fact, Jon and Kate claim the kids don't have college funds although that may not be true. I don't think that the filming of these children violate child labor laws as they stand now. But, should new laws be written to protect children on reality shows?

[Read full story on The Insider]

"WALL - E" Review

MamaPop — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 19:26:46 GMT

There is really nothing more charming than a tiny robot, unfamiliar with the behaviors of The Human, who is suddenly thrust into our world stumbling about while trying to make is way around. Every time WALL-E spoke, I had to resist the urge to pinch his cheeks and refer to him as a darling little trash clearing robot. Aren't you just the sweetest? And while I might be the last person on the planet to gush over the endearing WALL - E I feel like I need to say that despite his diminutive stature he most certainly kicks ass. WALL - E (Ben Burtt)actually is an acronym for Waste Allocation Load Lifter-Earth-Class. This specific WALL - E that we have all come to love happens to be the last of his kind. Their mission had been to clean up the Earth while all humans were sent away on a five year "cruise" on the Executive Starliner Axiom. The WALL -E's were to stay to turn the planet back to life sustaining status. The beginning of the movie is just WALL - E going about his life alone (think I Am Legend or Castaway) with just a cockroach by his side. He returns home each night to watch and mimic scenes from Hello, Dolly (which might be the most darling thing ever). He's out one day building sky scrapers out of garbage when a space ship of some sort disturbs his peace and releases a tiny robot named EVE (Elissa Knight) whose job is to find plant life on Earth to bring back to Axiom. WALL - E begins to fall in love with EVE as he craves a connection with someone like him after so many years alone. She, being a woman on a mission, cannot be bothered and gives him a bit of the brush off. That is until EVE finds plant life and is summoned back to Axiom. When the spaceship comes to retrieve her WALL - E, thinking that his one true love is being taken away, follows in pursuit. Axiom, which was to be a five year cruise sponsored by mega-corporation Buy N' Large (BnL - think Walmart) has turned into a 700 year long expedition in sloth. The humans have slowly turned into very large and lazy versions of their former selves, due to Axiom's cruise like atmosphere where everything is brought to them at all times. Everyone floats around in a hover chair of sorts and every meal comes in a cup. Doing something for yourself is a faux pas and even the ship's captain exudes indolence to the point where he has the ship run entirely on automatic by a rather devious device named AUTO. The only way for the humans to return to the planet is if an EVE returns with proof of life so that they can grow and flourish. Now that an EVE has returned with the proof it is the captain's job to get them back to Earth but after spending that much time away where everything is just a flick of the finger to press a button, away, why return? What will Earth have to offer than isn't already provided by Axiom? If there are robots to do literally everything then why do something for yourself? This movie brings Pixar into the realm of social and environmental consciousness that was both surprising and endearing. Besides the story of a robot in love the bigger picture is what will happen if humans start to allow corporations to move in and take over. And what poor effects have we been having on the planet as a whole. The phrase 'liberal propaganda' has been floating around, but children won't necessarily see that though parents undoubtably will. And in comparison to the other movie of the summer that examines the negative effects that humans are having on the planet - M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening - where plants cause humans to commit suicide in the most gruesome ways possible; this blockbuster is a little easier on the eyes and the stomach. It's profound and has that 'Recycle, kids!' message without scaring someone shitless and it even thawed my ice block of a heart.

[Read full story on The Insider]

Hot Topics!

MamaPop — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Come jump into our conversations on MamaPopTalk! We're currently talking about who's going to BlogHer, picking shampoo and conditioner, the Brinkley-Cook divorce and the fairness of celebrities receiving criticism for outrageous baby names. And yet, the most important topic over on MamaPopTalk is definitely the first episode of I Love Money. You know you want to join in!

[Read full story on The Insider]

David Lee Roth Suffers Severe Allergic Reaction

MamaPop — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla boobuhla hummala bebhuhla zeebuhla bop! David Lee Roth was pulled over by cops in Ontario in June for speeding. When they got to him, they realized that Diamond Dave was suffering from anaphylactic shock. Roth has a nut allergy and somehow came into contact with one while driving. The story doesn't list the details, but I imagine he was eating something that was processed in shared facilities. My son has a nut allergy and we come across a lot of such products. It's such a pain. Roth is fine, though I imagine the cops probably needed some time off to recover from being in the presence of such a luminary. Said one cop, "He was wearing a little silk scarf and flashy clothing." Only David Lee Roth would speed while having an allergic reaction and wearing a little silk scarf and flashy clothing. In Ontario. There's something very wrong with that man. And I love it.

[Read full story on The Insider]

Amy Winehouse Needs a "Use Your Words" Refresher Course

MamaPop — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Amy, sweetie, remember we don't hit. I know you're feeling angry with your bodyguard, but you have to use your words, not your hands. Hitting is not nice, and if you do it again, you'll have to have a timeout. You know, now that my kid is just about officially not a preschooler, I don't get many opportunities anymore to bust out the toddler-specific Mommy Voice at home, and I just realized how nice it is to have mostly retired it. It's very tiring, constantly finding a nice way to tell someone to stop acting like a complete freakin' lunatic. I don't like doing it, especially at British pop stars who are nearly as old as I am, but clearly someone must, because no one older than my kid should ever go less than two weeks without hitting somebody. And so this morning, after reading about Amy Winehouse's battering of her own bodyguard, I have come up with the best idea ever. I don't know why I didn't think of it before (or perhaps I did and have forgotten!). This situation is so obviously crying out for Jo Frost. You guys, come on. Please, try to tell me you wouldn't watch Supernanny put Amy Winehouse on the naughty step for hitting people. And - OMG, the brilliant ideas just don't stop this morning - if she needed backup, she could call in Dr. Drew. They could have a group house! They could fill it with celebrity fuckups! They could make a chore wheel for the Jezebels! Please, reality show gods, I BEG OF YOU, provide for me, your most loyal subject, what I need: a Frost-Pinsky mashup of epic proportions. (And if you wanted to bring MC Serch in somehow, I would go to church every Sunday, I swear.)

[Read full story on The Insider]

Baffling Celebrity Quote Of The Week

MamaPop — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

"People make a big fuss over names. Names of babies, names of albums, names of bands. There’s nothing weird about calling your baby Chewbacca if that’s what you want to call your baby. It’s no stranger than Sarah. A name is just a noise, and if you like it, then f--k what everyone else says." Um, dude? There is something TOTALLY weird about calling your baby Chewbacca. Like, seriously. Unless you're a Wookie, calling your baby Chewbacca is a) incontrovertible evidence that your geekness has completely overtaken your common sense and that - if you are actually committed to raising children who won't need tens of thousands of dollars worth of therapy - you should probably think really hard about packing away your Hans Solo outfit and skipping ComiCon for a few years and, b) a pretty solid guarantee that your child is going to get pantsed, bad, on the playground, for reals. A name may be just a noise, but look, so is a fart, and just 'cause you like it doesn't make it a good thing. Source

[Read full story on The Insider]

Photo in Search of a Caption: Angelina Jolie

MamaPop — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 13:17:42 GMT

Thin weist? Lose weight? This amazing product deserves better! via ohnotheydidnt!

[Read full story on The Insider]

Fashion Disasters Of The Week

MamaPop — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:00:00 GMT

For your consideration, behold this week's batch of questionable fashion decisions: Charlize Theron, wearing whatever the hell THAT is. The lovely Liv Tyler, wearing some sort of logic puzzle. Eva Mendes, wearing bedazzled sherbet. Pete Wentz, wearing the 1980s. Agree? Disagree? Have at it, betches...

[Read full story on The Insider]