I present to you, just about the funniest guy I know! My friend Owen Benjamin...

The_mommy — Sat, 10 May 2008 20:25:36 GMT

KELLY WANTS SHOES!!! #1 RATED VIDEO FOR USERS OVER AT YOU TUBE! A MUST WATCH HALARIUS CLIP!

The_mommy — Sat, 10 May 2008 17:13:35 GMT

AS THE VIDEO BEGINS YOU WILL START TO REALIZE THAT KELLY; "PSYCHO -SHOE -LOVIN TWIT" IS ACTUALLY A GUY! HE'S THE FUNNIEST THING IN TOWN, WELL, JUST ABOUT. JUDGE FOR YOUSELF! IT MAKES ME LAUGH! MY SON HATES IT, BUT THEN AGAIN....HOW COULD A GUY EVER RELATE TO THE IMPORTANCE OF A GIRL'S SHOE STABLE? I THINK NOT! LOL! The_mommy

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Aw, Matzah!

The_mommy — Fri, 09 May 2008 11:41:14 GMT

THAT WAS HALARIOUS! MY GOD! WHAT A BEAUT HE IS! MY ENGLISH BULLDOG, LAZARUS IS SIMILIAR WHEREIN HIS INTEREST IN ANYTHING OTHER THAN SLEEP, FOOD AND ME IS LIMITED. HE DOES LOVE KIDS AND PEOPLE, BUT HATES OTHER DOGS. THE GAS IS AT UNBEARABLE PROPORTIONS, BUT THE AMOUNT OF COMEDY THIS DOG GIVES TO ME AND MY SON FAR OUTWEIGHS THE STENCH OF HIS FARTS! LOL! PIETRA THORNTON

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WALTER MATTHAU'S SHEEP DOG ATE MY HOT DOG!

The_mommy — Fri, 09 May 2008 08:21:35 GMT

Sorry folks, but there's just some stories that must be told. Walter Matthau may seem like old news to many of you, but to me, since early childhood he was the old guy who walked around the Palisades with his mangy old sheep dog. He lived in the unpretentious, yet elite and upscale "Huntington Palisades," which sits atop a seaside bluff off the coast near Santa Monica and Malibu, California. Walter Matthau was that funny old guy who was on my television set in the early seventies. As a young girl I watched him on such shows as "The Odd Couple" as well as in the original feature film,"The Bad News Bears" ( as "Coach Buttermaker"). One day in 1973 my mother took me out for a picnic/barbeque in our town park. I was about 3 years old. I remember every detail of that day as if it were yesterday. They say that when something traumatic happens in your youth, well, it sticks with you for a lifetime. That it did! But, in the best of ways! As memory best serves, my mother had put the hot dogs onto the barbeque located on the side of the park. It was rustic and trees hung over it's entirety with gloom and mystique. The barbeque area was somewhat hidden on the side of a hillside which to this day, you must climb down in order to reach. My mother yelled,"It's ready! Come and get it!" I remember feeling completely starved as young tots often do...launching into full sprint,I flung myself hurling down the hillside, tumbling lopsy- toed all the way down and fell at my mother's feet. There, I was met with her temptuous offering of burnt meat on a bun. Mother handed me the hot dog and turned away. That is when "IT" happened! Out of nowhere appeared this wolf-faced beast with no eyes! It snatched the dog right out of my little hands and knocked me over as I hit my head and fell unconcious. Upon gaining conciousness, dreadful fright of nightmarish proportion encompassed me about. Overshadowing my existence stood an enormously large, drooling creature, munching down the remains of my much covetted "dog". That's when I threw myself into what can only be known as "the full-tilt-boogey-tantrum of all tantrums" a kid could throw! One that not even my mother of steel old country blood was equipt to appease. It is then that our eyes first met. Racing thoughts of blurting and bold color took full motion inside my head,"It was him! That old guy with the.........you mean? that's his dog?!! How could he just stand there while his harry beast devoured my dog so violently?!" Next thing you know, Mr. Mattau stepped in like a knight in shining armor and lifted me up and into the safety of his loving arms. Ah, who was this beautiful stranger? His arms felt as though they had been stuffed with love and the warmth of his embrace was not comparible to any other moment in all of my life. Mind you, I was not "affected" by his stature, being that I was only somewhere around the age of 3. For a girl without a father, this man appeared to me as somewhat of a hero. He swept me up and propped me down onto his lap after quickly spotting a good place to sit. With my rear upon his knee, the vibration of his tapping foot thundered up and through me like a rumbling quake. That lanky, long leg of his stood to be a safe haven and vantage point overlooking his beast of a dog below, which was still scouring the ground for leftover morsels of my hotdog. Cooing me sweetly with his gruff, serene voice as he simotaneously wiped each and every tear from my face with the bare palm of his manly hand as though I were his very own. This single most special moment in my life will always be kept within the chambers of my heart. I could not have cared less about his looks, his age or his code of dress. No sirree, I hadn't the faintest idea. For all I knew, he could have been some deranged, serial-killing bum or even worst, Tom Cruise! It just felt so good to be given such pure love and unexpectedly so. That monumentally grand moment in time is what later came to define my purpose for living on this earth. Within just a few short minutes, my mother who had missed the entire event due to her usual preoccupation with food, turned towards us in somewhat of a panick and screamed my name out at the top of her lungs (mom's got about a 5 1/2 octive range. You can only imagine how heartstopping it was for anyone within hearing range). Apparently, mom wasn't accustomed to strange men holding me on their laps. Now, either her mind went into some kind of instantaneous, psycho-systematic form of denial or the dread of not seeing me, shut out everything within view. Whatever the case may be, she looked beyond us rather than head on and began running frantically in opposing directions of flow. Mr. Matthau had this aire about him that matched that of "The Mad Hatter" at Disneyland. Aside for his refusal, that is, to succumb to any form of hyterics. His eyes would speak far louder than his mouth would. Often times, while I am studying the craft of acting, Mr. Matthau's unconvential spirit will repay me a visit. When faced with a moment of "fine tuning my instrument", it is the memory of his spirit that comes to heart and guides me in the right direction. In the most assertive voice ever spoken, Mr. Matthau said, "Mam....... is this your daughter? It seems that my dog ate her lunch. Let me give you some money to buy her something good to eat."(What? Mr. Grumpy, funny, soft and strong spoke? and he's got my daughter on his lap?") Mom just stood there as if time itself had taken a pause just for her. With eyes a-glazen, my mother standing perfectly motionless and still for approximately 30 consecutive seconds straight! Not even blinking once! In leu of that ever-so-haunting flashback, one would assume that my mother was in a serious state of shock. Then she responded with nothing more than these choice words,"Thank you. Oh no, it's fine. Well, ok, thank you. How kind!" Within the blink of my little eyes, he put me down,firmly told me not to cry and that mommy was going to feed me something good now. At which point he winked, made a funny sound with his mouth and then proceeded to dissolve away slowly as he walked towards the darkness of the early evening sky with that wooley dog of his in toe. Over the years, I would see him either walking down the street somewhere in the village or waiting in line at one of the stores. Each and everytime I would see him, he looked as if he were in a dream of his own making. Always in his own specifically created world and very content with his trusty sheepdog alongside. Somehow, whenever he saw me, he always took notice and made a point to wink and make that clicky sound as he had so many years previous. He possessed the most uniquely odd style, in which he appeared to keep a comfortable distance from the outside world. He was different with me. You see, I think he knew we matched. That's why he always had big words to say with those eyes of his. Everybody else didn't get him. They were alien to him and he to them. This is what happens when people don't see eye to eye. I'm grateful to God we did. When I heard that Mr. Matthau had passed away, I wept for days. With each pang of grief from the mere thought of him living no more. My mind took me back and froze still moments in my life when Mr. Matthau and I had crossed paths. Suddenly and without provocation I began to laugh as I recalled his quirky smurk of a smile, that dastardly wink and his criminal-like, mischievously, ingenius CLICK of his tongue! It's all I could do to hold myself together. Alas, I have found peace. To this very day, when making a trip to the Palisades, we'll take the short-cut through town along the bluffs. When passing by Mr. Matthau's home, which is a two story, white collonial home, I'll take a slow, meaningful sigh and reminise that same amazing feeling he gave to me, (unknowingly) year after year since that fateful day our souls collided at Palisades Park in 1973. Because of him, I could never think higher of a famous person simply because of their creativity or popularity. Even to this very day, if I see him in an old episode of "The Odd Couple" or one of the many flicks he shot over the years, he still just feels like an old friend or perhaps even a relative rather than some separate entity. I thank God for introducing me to the old guy with the sheepdog who ate my hotdog long ago. For he was far more than a famous actor or comedian. To me he was a great man with a genuine heart of gold. A man of leadership and one free of other's molds. Yes, he was far more than all those things. He was my wonderful neighbor and friend. - Pietra Thornton

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The Insider: Contributed by The_mommy

I present to you, just about the funniest guy I know! My friend Owen Benjamin...

KELLY WANTS SHOES!!! #1 RATED VIDEO FOR USERS OVER AT YOU TUBE! A MUST WATCH HALARIUS CLIP!

Aw, Matzah!

WALTER MATTHAU'S SHEEP DOG ATE MY HOT DOG!